


Inescapable Constants

by Iyatiku



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, cecilos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 18:50:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10747701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iyatiku/pseuds/Iyatiku
Summary: Cecil is Carlos' hope, but the desert sun of the Otherworld eats hope up like moisture, and Carlos isn't sure he's much of a hero anymore.





	Inescapable Constants

**Author's Note:**

> A little something I wrote probably about 2 and a half years ago, and which has gone through a heavy edit since. I think it may have even been before my first WTNV live show. Speaking of which if any of you are attending the Nottingham show in September, hit me up fellas!

It starts off with a simple routine.

Carlos wakes up, Carlos thinks, Carlos makes, Carlos calls Cecil, Carlos sleeps.

He doesn’t waste time wondering how he’s being sustained because he hasn’t consumed anything but dusty air since the oak doors closed, leaving him trapped in what Cecil likes the call the ‘Otherworld’.

But to Carlos, this is  _his_  world. Isn’t it?

Planning is going well he thinks, pinning up a photobooth snap of him and Cecil up on the makeshift board he’s constructed out of odd bits and bobs floating around the dunes. He smiles softly at the image and then gets to work.

Sundown comes around much quicker than he expects so he halts progress and picks up his phone.

“Hello Cecil.”

“Carlos, how was your day?”

“Challenging. I think I may have found a way into an idea but it’s going to be difficult. How’s Night Vale?”

“Oh, boring, mostly, without you. Steve Carlsberg dropped by to see if you’d made any progress.”

“Oh? What did you tell him?”

“I told him you had my unfaltering faith. You are, after all, a scientist”

Carlos smiles and tucks a hand into the pocket of his lab coat, “Thank you Cecil. It means…it means a lot.” He says quietly. He hears Cecil chuckle on the other end of the line.

“I told him that if you could do anything it was science. And cooking. I miss your cooking.” He finishes sadly. Carlos frowns, feeling his heart contract ever so slightly.

“I’ll be home soon,” he tries to sound as optimistic as he can, “I promise.”

“I know.” Cecil reports, sounding a little happier.

“I’d better go. I don’t know where I’ve been sleeping because I don’t remember ever actually falling asleep here, only waking up, so I could drop off at any second.”

“Alright, well stay safe, I-I love you.”

“I love you too Cecil.”

He hangs up and turns to watch the sun bleed slowly into the horizon.

* * *

 

He wakes up the next morning with a slight headache that may or may not be related to the fact that he hasn’t consumed any liquid beyond his own sweat, inadvertently, in the desert sun.

He shakes the sleep from his mind and clambers towards his makeshift base camp. His resources are growing, and Carlos is tempted to assume that some kind of universal force is bringing them to him, because no scientific explanation matched their acquisition. And that puzzles him. And of all things, Carlos does not like being puzzled. It makes him sad.

He thinks, that if he can recreate the strange light that had revealed the oak door to him in the first place, perhaps he could summon the energy to reveal it again.

But it’s slow work.

He attaches mirrors to cacti, mixes shade and heat, bows beneath the powerful pulsating heat of the sun.

Nothing.

He runs a hand through his hair, flinching as his fingers catch on the knots he’s so used to Cecil brushing into non-existence. Cecil, he misses Cecil.

His phone lights up.

“Cecil? You’re early.”

“Am I? I had the sudden sensation that you were in some kind of danger and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“That’s…I’m fine Cecil.”

“You don’t sound fine.” Carlos almost smiles at his boyfriend’s concern.

“I’m just tired that’s all, it’s very hot here.”

“It’s a desert Carlos, honestly, what did you expect.”

“Snow? I don’t know.” He teases. He can hear the tutting at the other end of the line

“For a scientist, you’re not very smart.” Cecil mocks.

Carlos goes quiet.

“Carlos? You know I didn’t mean that? Y-you’re the smartest guy I know. Even smarter than Sarah Sultan, and she’s a rock. And I don’t mean that metaphorically, she’s an _actual_  rock!”

Carlos chuckles, smiling for the first time all day, “You always know how to make me smile, Cecil.”

“All in the job description. No, really, it’s in my contract with the radio station. If I don’t make someone smile at least once a day I’ll be carried off to the abandoned mine shaft out of town.”

Carlos rolls his eyes and sighs, “Glad to be of service then.”

“But in all seriousness, how’s the science coming along?”

“I…it’s harder than I thought it was going to be. When the masked army all disappeared I thought it was with the light that faded when the door disappeared and I figured If I could recreate that light I could recreate the door, and somehow slip back through before the army does.”

“That sounds  _so_  smart.”

“I don’t know if it will work but you know, I’ll try.”

“Listen, I have to go,” Cecil says quickly, “but I believe in you very much and I know you’ll try your hardest to get back here. Back home. I love you, stay safe.”

“I will, I love you, pet Khoshekh for me!”

And the line is dead. He drops his phone on a pile of fabric that had come fluttering over the sand an hour earlier. Surprisingly, the sun is beginning to descend. Carlos picks up the sheet and begins to cover his work, pausing to smile softly at the now dusty picture of himself and Cecil, before sheathing it in darkness as soon, they both would be.

* * *

 

The next day he squints at the horizon, startling at the familiar silhouette facing up against the opening day. He stumbles to his feet, noticing the growing pain at the back of his head. He stretches out his neck, picks up his rucksack and begins walking.

The silhouette is captivating, has his heart beating fast in his chest. After an hour of walking he halts. He hasn’t gotten any closer. He turns to find his camp mere feet behind him. He huffs out a sigh of frustration and wipes at his eyes beneath his glasses.

He turns his attention back to his contraption, stroking his stubble covered chin in thought. The pain at the back of his head grows as his irritation grows. Progress is non-existent and as the sun begins it’s descent, he begins to crave Cecil’s voice, knowing it’s the only thing that will give him any hope.

“Cecil.” He breathes on picking up the phone, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Are you…okay? You sound…upset.”

“I’m fine. Progress is a little slow. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“It’s a shame you can’t get connection through to the radio frequency. Then you could listen to my voice all day.”

Carlos scrunches up his eyes and tries not to think about how blissful that would be in place of the deathly warm silence of the desert.

“Carlos?”

“How’s Night Vale?” He asks instead, swallowing hard.

“It’s…fine, I guess. A new restaurant just opened. I tried to book us a table – for when you get back o-of course – but they’re booked up for months! Isn’t that crazy!”

“Crazy, yeah.”

“Are you…sure you’re okay?”

“I just don’t like not being able to figure something out Cecil. Especially when it keeps me away from you.“

It’s quiet for a moment.

“Well,” Cecil starts, “you did it once, right? You got Dana and the rest through, you’ll be able to do it again. I know you will.”

Carlos stretches out his neck again and tries to smile, “Yeah, I guess.”

“You’re…you’re our  _hero_  Carlos.” Cecil says quietly. Carlos gasps slightly around the dry air in his throat.

“No I’m not.” He replies, “I’m just a scientist”

“But you’re  _my_  scientist, and that makes you a hero.”

“I love you Cecil.”

“And I you.”

Carlos wipes at his face softly under his sniffles and hangs up before Cecil can hear.

* * *

 

The headache has turned into a frantic spiking of spontaneous pain by sunrise the next day. Carlos groans as he sits up.

But he gasps in surprise.

The light has changed.

He staggers over to his equipment, watching the light bound around the area with each sparkling reflection. “Displacement…” he mutters, moving things around. When he turns back to the sun he gasps.

The edges flicker around the image, but he laughs, he laughs out loud, he laughs almost maniacally. Because that is Cecil, sat at his desk, looking a little more tired than usual, but that is Cecil, his hair parted neatly, waistcoat aligned perfectly, hands moving passionately with his report.

“Cecill!” He calls, heart rising in his chest, “Cecil it’s me”

Cecil stops talking, leans back from the microphone and looks around. Looks straight past Carlos. Without looking away Carlos fumbles for his phone. He watches Cecil excuse himself from his listeners, watches his smile at the caller ID, watches him answer. Carlos feels his muscle relax as Cecil’s voice washes over him. For a moment his eyes flutter closed

“Carlos? I wasn’t expecting you to call until l-”

“Cecil I can see you!” He gasps, “I can see you in the station, you’re right-right there in front of me!”

“What do you mean, I can’t see anything.” He looks around again, eyes roving quickly past Carlos’ excited form. His face falls, “wait, wait this is what happened with Dana remember, she could speak to me and see me, but I couldn’t see her, wait…this must mean you’re close to finding your way through!” He says excitedly, face lighting up

“Cecil I don’t know how long this will last but...god, I’ve missed you so much. I never thought I’d be so happy to see someone.”

“You have to keep working! You’re so close, I know you’ll make it- wait Carlos? Can you hear…the line has gone fuzzy.”

“What?” Carlos’ face falls, “No Cecil I can see and hear you fine.”

“Carlos? Hello are you there?”

“Cecil no I’m still-”

As quickly as the image had appeared it’s gone, flashing out of existence in a blink.

“NO!” Carlos yelps, throwing down his phone.

“NO!” He cries in frustration. He clutches his head and closes his eyes against the growing pain.

“No.” he mutters again. He steps back, expecting to come up against his board, but instead he hits air and trips up in that way you do when you expect something and come up with nothing, only to fall flat on his back. He glances around, heart sinking to painful depths because the equipment has  _gone_. The board, the mirrors, the only picture of Cecil he had left.

“No, no, no no no no.” He moans, scrambling to his feet, “NO!” He screams in anger. His breathing is heavy, coming in and out of his lungs in painful lurching stretches. His face is wet.

His phone rings.

Carlos walks slowly to answer it, breathing strained.

“Cecil” he croaks.

“Carlos? Oh thank god it’s you, where did you go? I couldn’t hear you and the then the line stated buzzing and there was this intermitten screaming and…Carlos?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong, what happened?”

“I…nothing Cecil, nothing happened. Nothing is happening. Nothing is going to happen.” He says with settling resignation. He falls down onto the sand.

“Carlos what do you mean? You were so close before, I’m sure-”

“No,” he interrupts, “ _no_  Cecil it’s not going to happen. All of my things have disappeared and I can’t see anything for miles around except that mountain and sand. I don’t think…Cecil I don’t think I’ll be coming back.”

He hears Cecil laugh nervously, “You just haven’t cracked it yet, I b-”

“Cecil. I can’t. I’ve reached my limit. Your scientist isn’t much of a hero any more.” He sniffs.

“Don’t say that, you’re a wonderful scientist! Remember what you did with the oak door!”

“Cecil that was different, I had the…all the angels and the masked army and Dana and…this is too big for me. I think it’s…it’s time to let it go.”

“What are you-no but you’re brilliant! You’re the smartest person I know! You can’t be…can’t be stuck there.”

Carlos doesn’t reply, removing his glasses to have better access to his burning eyes. Eventually Cecil stops talking on the other line. Carlos hears him chuckle.

“You know, I was in love with you from the second I saw you.”

Carlos huffs out a strained laugh through the breath he’s beginning to find hard to rake in, “I know. I could hear every broadcast Cecil.”

“Oh. Well.”

“But I didn’t really know what to say because well, for one,  _Night Vale_  Cecil, it was fascinating! And I was maybe just a little…shy, and awkward.”

“Oh yes you were.” Cecil affirms. Carlos could feel his boyfriend rolling his eyes. “But you were perfect, so of course I forgave you.”

“Oh I’m far from perfect Cecil, if I was I would find my way back to you.”

“You talk of perfect as if it’s workable normalcy. I speak of perfect as a relative trait, dependant on the eye of the beholder. To me, you  _are_  perfect.”

Carlos squeezes his eyes shut and forcefully hardens his resolve.  _Cecil will not hear me cry,_  he thinks,  _he will not see my imperfection._

“You’re not too bad yourself.” He replies when he’s in control of his voice again, “In fact you’re better than I could ever be. I’m so p…proud of you Cecil”

“Oh I don’t-”

“No Cecil.” Carlos insists, “You’re amazing, even more so than you were two years ago…or…however long it’s been seeing as time doesn’t work there but, anyway, you’re grown so much Cecil. You’re a better person, you make so many people happy, you make me happy, you make me a better person. And I…want to thank you for that Cecil I want to tha-” He stops, halted by the unavoidable lump in his throat. He swallows around it and tries again, “I want to thank you for opening my eyes, so I can see the stars, and distinguish between the void and the space that human consciousness takes up in this vast oblivion.”

The line is quiet, until Carlos hears a sniff and a rustle.

“C-carlos…” Cecil stutters and  _god_  the pain he can hear, the stretch between them grows with the sound. His heart thumps reluctantly, not wanting to close off any place where Cecil is. For a second Carlos considers the sentient connection that’s kept them together, that wove their lives and their fate. The force is as real as the wind pulling at his hair and the clouds scurrying across the sky above him.

“I should…I should go.” he whispers, clutching the phone tightly.

“No…no Please Carlos-”

“Don’t forget the importance of the space you take up. And l-” he pauses, swallows, opens his eyes and smiles, “let other people see the importance of your space, Cecil. Don’t hide your light away.”

“Never,” Cecil croaks, “no. I couldn't”

“Cecil…”

“Remarkable, you’re remarkable Carlos, and nothing could replace the darkness you’ll leave in your absence. I’ll clutch to it, I’ll use it. N-nobody could…” He trails off.

“I love you Cecil.” Carlos says with certainty.

“I l-love you too. Into the immeasurable void and back”

“Don’t let the Glow Cloud get too rowdy.” He jokes.

“I would not dream of it”

“Goodbye Cecil.”

“G-goodbye Carlos, my brave, brave scientist.”

Carlos drops the phone and fall back onto the sand, covering his streaked face with his arm. He turns his head to look up at the mountain. He squints in confusion.

There’s a lighthouse.

* * *

 

Cecil doesn’t leave the station.

He sits and does his show, he sits and pets Khoshekh. He curls up on his chair and stares at the framed picture of his boyfriend on his desk.

He misses Carlos. That, unlike so many things in his life and the lives of those around him, is a constant.

The light Carlos took leaves a literal darkness. It creeps into the half empty bed at night, takes up space at the dinner table, hangs sadly on the empty spot on the couch that used to be filled with a solid, warm body. Cecil avoids the kitchen, eats out, because the darkness has lingered impossibly thick in there.

His lab is closed, sheathed in a semi-transparent mist. The town is sad, the town mourns, the sky mourns. The sun refuses to rise.

Cecil’s existence is incomplete.

Most nights he curls up in the corner of his booth and lies an unintentional vigil. He means to sleep, but the usual haunting he’s used to feeling at night has become unbearable when there isn’t anyone there to wrap him in a human blanket of security. How did he possibly exist before Carlos so spontaneously and miraculously entered his life?

He thinks he can hear a noise.

He sits up, pushes the cover off him, moves to his chair, returns his eyes to the picture. It seems brighter at night, even brighter  _this_  night.

There’s knock. Cecil flinches, turns around, gasps.

The wheels on the chair spin as it’s knocked to the floor in his hurry, hands shaking as he twists the lock, finds fabric with his fingers, grips with almost inhuman strength.

He inhales deeply, feeling like it’s the first real air he’s tasted in months. He can feel strong arms pulling him closer, impossibly closer, until they could be one person. His arms are on fire, his neck itches furiously as the tattoos covering his body begin to react to the relief, the joy, the contentment.

“Never letting you go.” He stutters into brown,  _perfect_ , hair. “Never”

Carlos lets out half a laugh, half a sob.

“Never.” He agrees

 


End file.
